So I forgot to mention to you last week that I've been going on a lot of exchanges with the Tongan elders and we also have a Tongan less active in our ward. Because of that I've been eating some interesting food. One thing is called Tarro root? don't ask me on the spelling. it's Tongan and tasteless, but is similar to a potato. I also ate Tongan sushi, which is REALLY good! Also had chopsui, which is possibly my favorite Tongan dish. oh and this last week I ate horse 5 times between the buckets of left overs that they sent us home with. Horse. Is. Good. Sooooo good. I wish I had more of it. Don't go knocking on it either till you try. I know it's a beautiful creature, but it tastes even better!
This last week has been very good for me. I had been
struggling this last week with having memories of life just before the
mission. It was very distracting that some of the other missionaries
weren't making it easy to forget. Well this last week Elder Belo got me
sick, so one night we retired to bed early and watched the remainder of
our training videos just a few days early. In the middle of them there
was an example of an addiction recovery program in it. I then paused the
video and expressed to Elder Belo my frustrations with programs like
that in the past and how easy it is to become discouraged and
disgruntled my them just by what people are saying and how they are
saying it. Then I expressed to him how I got over my addiction and I can
say it in the words of Boyd K Packer to the best of my memory. "True
doctrine understood correctly changes behavior faster than the study of
behavior changes behavior." That is what truly worked for me. Then the
most miraculous thing happened to me. I realized that in my journey I
had kept my frustration with me and my frustration led to more
temptations. It felt like I was wearing frustration like a chinked up
piece of armor. I hadn't allowed my armor to be replaced, worked on,
polished and made new. In that moment of realization I felt that
heavy dysfunctional armor that I had been using for forever fall off. I
was free. New. Comforted. Pure. It was the most wonderful feeling. I
have had the time to reassemble new pieces of armor together as I study
the scriptures and turn to the Lord in prayer. This armor doesn't allow
temptation in. It just doesn't come. I feel like I've been given that
rest that I've been looking for for the longest time. It's a miracle.
One that is only granted through the Atonement of Christ. I am so
grateful for Him doing that for me. I feel loved, and I feel a
responsibility to become the person that I can only become by utilizing
that great gift that was given to all men. It takes patience and time.
And honestly if you're living in accordance to his will, you don't have
to try as hard. It will come naturally as you follow the promptings of
the Spirit. God is at the helm when you submit your will to his. He'll
give you the armor you need. He'll give you rest. He will give you
peace. I know it. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, amen.
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