Wow, this last week was also crazy. (I think I say that just about every week...) It's because it's true, though!
On Monday I crashed for a 4 1/2 hour nap on pday because of all the lack
of sleep that I've had for the last 6 months. It was very much so
needed, and it's even helped me feel energized to today, a week later. I
think that's the second time my entire mission that I've just crashed
for pday. but because of that whole nap I couldn't fall asleep that
night. I tried for two hours, and then finally at 1:30
in the morning I just got up. I had the prompting to read about Captain
Moroni, so I opened up to Alma 43 and just started to devour the
scriptures. I didn't get to bed till 4 AM.
I read well over 24 pages, and I learned so much. Since that night I've
continued to read when I can and now I think I'm at chapter 59. I found
Captain Moroni to be just a man. He was hot headed for God's sake. He
reminds me of a couple of mission leaders that I've had in the past.
Just because someone is our leader doesn't meant that we have to agree
with every action they take. As long as we can see the reasons behind
their thinking and see that their motivation is for the unity of the
people and also to perserve the standards that God has set forth, that
should be enough for us to give them our support. I also started to see
the value in just taking things as they are. As a person you can only
focus on one thing at a time. We can't worry about trying to predict the
future, or try to figure out the "perfect algorithm" for being the
"superhero missionary" or "superhero mom or dad" because God is going to
use both our weaknesses and our strengths to his benefit. He's not
going to place us in a situation that we can't handle.We need to trust
God a little more, depend on Him even to the point that we can just do
what we need to do, do what we've been trained to do, and do our part to
make sure that the spirit is with us. When complications come up in our
way, we don't have to completely rack our brains every time that
something new is in our path. We can ask God. If we truly have the
spirit with us we will be able to do things the way that God wants them
done. It doesn't mean that it won't be hard, but it means we can focus
on the truly important things and leave the things that are out of our
control up to the Master.
This last week I've started to see the after mission
application of everything we do. A mission is not just something that
we do for 2 years, burn ourselves out to the bone and then become bitter
at the church for making us do and then leave. Rather mission life is
training us to trust God, and to develop the habits that will make us
the most successful in every aspect of our life for the rest of our
lives. I've found the points in my life, or on my mission where I was
the most burned out, it was because I was trying to tackle life on my
own terms and disregarding the standards or sources of help that God has
set forth. I was relying on my own strength to support me, yet I was
forgetting the source of all strength. It's in these times, that if we
start to look back at our past through journals/facebook etc that we can
see exactly what God has been leading us towards our entire lives. The
Commandments of god are to give us a life with less inner conflict. We
don't have to be perfect, we just have to do what we can. The purpose of
doing what we can is not so that we can pay God back for what he's done
for us, but so that we can be transformed into the person that he wants
us to. So enjoy the ride and let God take the reins! Be willing to
follow each of his promptings and do what you can. Some people would
call this humbling yourself. I call it doing things the easy/less
stressful way. It still requires work, but it's a lot more fun :)
Nothing about this last week really stood out
to me, it was just craziness as always. G's dog injured her again (
it broke her nose a few weeks back). T. is resisting becoming a real
man through work ethic, and C. is still throwing up false reasons as
to why he can't be married yet. We're going to continue to call them
out on their crap and invite them to come closer to God. It's kind of
our job. I think it's funny/ odd to see people that know that what
Christ has to offer through this Gospel is exactly what they want, but
they don't want to have to do what it takes to get there to have it. I
know I used to be in that same boat a few years ago. It's a little
humbling to see it from the other side.
I love you all so much. letters/emails are always
greatly appreciated. I promise I read each and every one of them. I try
to respond individually as much as I can. there's just not a whole lot
of time to do it in.
Stay Zesty!
Your elder Lloyd
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